Father's Day

I love what the books we have read and the idea of Marriage has brought for us in the last few years.  A little less then 2 decades, and I am still very happily married.  This was a comment i responded on someones post last week and it just sticks with me.  here is how our Father's day went.  Mind you hours after this my sweetheart was busy with 14 scouts taking them to Utah. He is amazing!   

Last week the little kids sang for father's day, I am so glad when daddy comes home.  My hubby whispered to me, I am so sad we have no primary kids to sing that to me this year.  It was sad.  Our kids are all teenagers now and they are all going different directions but that time when dad comes home, from work, church, anything, my hearts still skips a beat.  I just feel like i am a twitterpatted newlywed.  18 years later.  We are friends and we still love each other but the key is, we still LIKE each other.  I think the little things like you said you surprised him, are so important because he probably dreaded having to help after a day of stress.  You are a great example.  What a sweet story! Thanks for you thoughts.try to work at our marriage and we find faults within ourselves and not our companion. We have to be able to reach out and 
Marriage is HARD, marriage is AWESOME, Marriage is emotional, Marriage is rough, Marriage is the best thing I have ever done. I think we have so many talents we can all share, and we have all found that we have our own personalities, but how do we better ourselves so that we can be a better companion. I am so amazed at the humbleness and repentance as we constantly work on us.  I love the fact that the Lord trusted us enough to help us want to be a companion and the fact that we can reach for the stars but when we have someone help us reach it's so much more rewarding!

Contention, and dissension

Here is the definition of 

Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.

Elder Faust said that we are given freedom in our hearts when we forgive. 

In families we tend to protect our ownselves by making sure that we are taken care of, but the most hurt that happens in families and sometimes marriages.  We are comforted when we forgive.  We have to forgive to be forgiven.  The healing powers can help us when we forgive others. 

Here is a great talk on finding peace
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04/a-pattern-for-peace?lang=eng

Bishop Waddell tells us that,"
The peace we all seek requires us to act—by learning of Jesus Christ, by listening to His words, and by walking with Him." 
I think that forgiveness is a virtue.  It doesn't just happen. We have to be able to find peace and truly forgive.  I ove this quote I found. 

Pride

I loved the talk by President Benson.  I loved this part of the  talk...When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgment. The world shouts louder than the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. The reasoning of men overrides the revelations of God, and the proud let go of the iron rod. (See 1 Ne. 8:19–28; 1 Ne. 11:25; 1 Ne. 15:23–24.)

                                    

I think this is so TRUE!  So many times not just in marriage we use this as an excuse not realizing that WE have pride and can't let go of our bad thoughts and feelings.  If we get rid of pride, we are able to have the spirit with us and we can be better followers of Christ, that actually helps in all of our relationships.  

The only way to make our marriage strong is for us to willing to be open and love without guile.  Getting rid of pride is a huge part of that!

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1989/04/beware-of-pride?lang=eng

                                  

Divorce takes work!

A successful marriage is Built DAILY

Your children are watching your marriage. Be mindful to set a good example for them to model in their future marriage.

I found this quote and it rung strong for me! Marriages needs to be tended to, DAILY.  We can not just expect things to work out without trying to do anything.

THIS week we found out another friend is getting divorced...

My husband I talked about how we are at that age that our friends are starting to fall away from each other. It makes me so sad. I think in the last year I know of 11 from church.  

SO very Sad!

Something came to mind as I was in the temple this morning

about creation the fall of Adam and Eve was at the top of my mind I reflected back on what we read this week from Bruce C. Hafen. I love the part where he says "Adam and Eve didn't understand all of this just by tasting the forbidden fruit. That fruit was just the beginning of a lifelong quest for meaning not me vent but an extended process marked by having children discovering misery soon, goodness joy, and the Very meaning of eternal life." That is what marriage does for us joy sadness misery trials but the ideas that were together doing it as each other's leaning tool.

The counsel from our leaders is just such a blessing.

Divorce

I think the information this week that kept sticking out to me is the D word.  Divorce. 

 It is such a hard thing.  Between Elder Oaks thoughts on Divorce and the video clip on divorce from ABC.  There was so much talk from the ABC report that kids said the negativity that came from parents and frustration.  There is fighting and anger.  The part that really stuck out for me that the kids have a hard time sharing their feelings because they don;t want to upset their parents, so these kids don't communicate and hold that in.  my heart broke for that. What a horrible discussion of the kids not being able to talk about how they are feeling and the fears that they have.  

                                                                     Divorce is so hard.  

Elder Oaks said this,"In contrast, modern prophets have warned that looking upon marriage “as a mere contract that may be entered into at pleasure … and severed at the first difficulty … is an evil meriting severe condemnation,” especially where children are made to suffer."   Many go into marriage as a way to be together and live together but not necessarily that it is covenant and commitment and it should not be gone into lightly. Marriage is meant to gone into the with love and that there is a way of love and commitment to each other. 

Divorce is just so sad. 

When we go into a marriage relationship with the idea of forever.  We will receive the blessings of the Lord and the confidence to work through our differences. 

Evolving

I love this quote because marriage is evolving and changing all the time. “A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection” (Divorce, Elder Dallin H. Oaks).

                                              

 Marriage changes. 

Marriage looks different a for everyone, because we are all different people. Marriage evolves depending on the things that are going on in life at that time. Marriage is different as newlyweds more blissful, less weight of the world because life is about both of you. Then when children come things change a little bit. The time for each other is not equal. The time is crucial that you find a long time together to reconnect as companions. Then the trials of children and life and mortgages and car payments and bills are there but there's also an evolution of how that works because of income. Again, it's ever-changing evolving. I love how Elder Oaks states that neither man or woman is perfect but working together and working towards a common goal of perfection is what it's all about. Something that I have found is I'm very very stingy about my companion time. We always have made time for date night even when the kids were little, sometimes it would be a date at home after the kids went to bed with a movie and maybe a pizza. It was the simple things but turning things off to focus on each other. As humans we change and evolve and are not the same person that we are when we get married. The idea needs to be made that the divorce is not an option but the two are working together for a common goal of perfection. Sometimes you're given 50/50 sometimes 60/40 and some times  20/80 but the ideas that you just keep working.