We are worker bees.

This life is created for a purpse. We are here so that we can learn, grow, serve, and teach the gospel that is being shared with us so that we can teach others what we know of the gospel. Our births on this earth are divine.

 Our earthly life is important to our Savior. 

 He brought us here to help us gain knowledge so that we can learn the plan.  The plan of Salvation and happiness is so that we can learn an eternal perspective on the life we are encountering.  The plan is eternal.

 Our lives are meant to be lived and enjoyed, not endured. The only way that we will learn this principle is to learn of him and seek a true desire to have a relationship with him. The only way to do that is to seek our Heavenly Father and learn of him.  o keep our communication with him open and be consistent with talking to him. In Luke 17:3, it says  3"And this is a life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.



We are worker bees.  We are asked to work on behalf of the Lord.  We are his hands. We are his tools and we have to learn how teach what we know and share that to others.  We have to be willing to put ourselves out there to share our testimonies and grow the kingdom of God.  

Baggage

As couples we come together and we both carry lots of, "baggage."

I love the statement from Poduska,"It does not take us long to realize that we do not enter marriage empty handed; we carry a lot of "baggage," with us.  "  Well how true is that!  I think this is true of all relationships, we have baggage.  Some of it not bad but some is.  He further states that many newlyweds tend to bring to their marriages a fairytale belief in living happily ever after, a belief seemingly based on this supposition: "we have been good. Therefore, only good things will happen to us."   I think we all enter into marriage and relationships with the mindset of happily ever after. Sometimes we enter with things not so happy and some things weigh us down because of our knowledge of history and we don;t want it to repeat.  When we enter into a union, we have to focus on each other and work towards being each other's,"person."  

No matter what we do have baggage, but it is what it is. We have to work together to get the relationship on track with each other and find a balance. Sometimes that is more sacrificing then we like, but it is necessary. 

Counsel Together, because We Are Equals

We are equals and because of such... we need to be united. 

I love that this reading coincides with what we have been talking about in Ward council this past week. We talked about the same things that Elder Ballard talked about.  being a part of the ward counsel committee is so enlightening but also so crucial to recognizing that we need to be one.  There are decisions that are made that maybe some of the committee doesn't agree with.  That is okay, we don't have to agree, but we do have to agree and be on board with the decision that Bishop has decided. 

The same applies in our families,  we have to be on board and agree with each other whether we agree or not.  We have to be united.  As couples we lead the family together, not one in charge of something and another in charge of something else.  There is so much importance with our children seeing that we as parents are united, miracles happen and love grows because they see that we are working together, not against each other. To function successfully and effectively we have to work together. 

I think with our ward councils running well, the ward members see the unity and carry it to their families. 

 We need to see righteous priesthood leaders to be part of our families.  We need partners. We need people who will be equal. As parents we need to set the example of how a council can work. Working together to build relationships and find the way of family unity.  Unification is what makes our purpose for eternal families possible. 

Intimacy

  

 This week's study of  Intimacy in marriage  really stood out to me about the ideal marriage.  Is there an ideal marriage?  I think not.  I think we all have struggles, and hardships like Cinderella.  Not all of us are free from the worries of money and live in a castle like Cinderella did, but....  We can have the happily ever after with alot of speed bumps in the way.  

We get married with the intention that we are the only one that our spouse sees us and no one else.

There is this really unfriendly thing that can get in the way and distract us from the things that matter. While the WORLD is choosing their way to do things, WE as members of the church who want to have the spirit with us, are working hard to FOLLOW the Prophet.

The way of the World and the Way of the Lord are 2 completely different paths!!!

One way that we can safe guard our marriages, our relationships and our kids is to protect everything we can that is willing to destroy our family units!  We have to have strong guards against the evil that is trying to seep into every little crack we have.  Any weakness, any sign of letting our guard down.  

These times that are brought down are what make our Cinderella story less available to happen. 

Father's Day

I love what the books we have read and the idea of Marriage has brought for us in the last few years.  A little less then 2 decades, and I am still very happily married.  This was a comment i responded on someones post last week and it just sticks with me.  here is how our Father's day went.  Mind you hours after this my sweetheart was busy with 14 scouts taking them to Utah. He is amazing!   

Last week the little kids sang for father's day, I am so glad when daddy comes home.  My hubby whispered to me, I am so sad we have no primary kids to sing that to me this year.  It was sad.  Our kids are all teenagers now and they are all going different directions but that time when dad comes home, from work, church, anything, my hearts still skips a beat.  I just feel like i am a twitterpatted newlywed.  18 years later.  We are friends and we still love each other but the key is, we still LIKE each other.  I think the little things like you said you surprised him, are so important because he probably dreaded having to help after a day of stress.  You are a great example.  What a sweet story! Thanks for you thoughts.try to work at our marriage and we find faults within ourselves and not our companion. We have to be able to reach out and 
Marriage is HARD, marriage is AWESOME, Marriage is emotional, Marriage is rough, Marriage is the best thing I have ever done. I think we have so many talents we can all share, and we have all found that we have our own personalities, but how do we better ourselves so that we can be a better companion. I am so amazed at the humbleness and repentance as we constantly work on us.  I love the fact that the Lord trusted us enough to help us want to be a companion and the fact that we can reach for the stars but when we have someone help us reach it's so much more rewarding!

Contention, and dissension

Here is the definition of 

Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.

Elder Faust said that we are given freedom in our hearts when we forgive. 

In families we tend to protect our ownselves by making sure that we are taken care of, but the most hurt that happens in families and sometimes marriages.  We are comforted when we forgive.  We have to forgive to be forgiven.  The healing powers can help us when we forgive others. 

Here is a great talk on finding peace
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04/a-pattern-for-peace?lang=eng

Bishop Waddell tells us that,"
The peace we all seek requires us to act—by learning of Jesus Christ, by listening to His words, and by walking with Him." 
I think that forgiveness is a virtue.  It doesn't just happen. We have to be able to find peace and truly forgive.  I ove this quote I found. 

Pride

I loved the talk by President Benson.  I loved this part of the  talk...When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgment. The world shouts louder than the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. The reasoning of men overrides the revelations of God, and the proud let go of the iron rod. (See 1 Ne. 8:19–28; 1 Ne. 11:25; 1 Ne. 15:23–24.)

                                    

I think this is so TRUE!  So many times not just in marriage we use this as an excuse not realizing that WE have pride and can't let go of our bad thoughts and feelings.  If we get rid of pride, we are able to have the spirit with us and we can be better followers of Christ, that actually helps in all of our relationships.  

The only way to make our marriage strong is for us to willing to be open and love without guile.  Getting rid of pride is a huge part of that!

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1989/04/beware-of-pride?lang=eng

                                  

Divorce takes work!

A successful marriage is Built DAILY

Your children are watching your marriage. Be mindful to set a good example for them to model in their future marriage.

I found this quote and it rung strong for me! Marriages needs to be tended to, DAILY.  We can not just expect things to work out without trying to do anything.

THIS week we found out another friend is getting divorced...

My husband I talked about how we are at that age that our friends are starting to fall away from each other. It makes me so sad. I think in the last year I know of 11 from church.  

SO very Sad!

Something came to mind as I was in the temple this morning

about creation the fall of Adam and Eve was at the top of my mind I reflected back on what we read this week from Bruce C. Hafen. I love the part where he says "Adam and Eve didn't understand all of this just by tasting the forbidden fruit. That fruit was just the beginning of a lifelong quest for meaning not me vent but an extended process marked by having children discovering misery soon, goodness joy, and the Very meaning of eternal life." That is what marriage does for us joy sadness misery trials but the ideas that were together doing it as each other's leaning tool.

The counsel from our leaders is just such a blessing.

Divorce

I think the information this week that kept sticking out to me is the D word.  Divorce. 

 It is such a hard thing.  Between Elder Oaks thoughts on Divorce and the video clip on divorce from ABC.  There was so much talk from the ABC report that kids said the negativity that came from parents and frustration.  There is fighting and anger.  The part that really stuck out for me that the kids have a hard time sharing their feelings because they don;t want to upset their parents, so these kids don't communicate and hold that in.  my heart broke for that. What a horrible discussion of the kids not being able to talk about how they are feeling and the fears that they have.  

                                                                     Divorce is so hard.  

Elder Oaks said this,"In contrast, modern prophets have warned that looking upon marriage “as a mere contract that may be entered into at pleasure … and severed at the first difficulty … is an evil meriting severe condemnation,” especially where children are made to suffer."   Many go into marriage as a way to be together and live together but not necessarily that it is covenant and commitment and it should not be gone into lightly. Marriage is meant to gone into the with love and that there is a way of love and commitment to each other. 

Divorce is just so sad. 

When we go into a marriage relationship with the idea of forever.  We will receive the blessings of the Lord and the confidence to work through our differences. 

Evolving

I love this quote because marriage is evolving and changing all the time. “A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection” (Divorce, Elder Dallin H. Oaks).

                                              

 Marriage changes. 

Marriage looks different a for everyone, because we are all different people. Marriage evolves depending on the things that are going on in life at that time. Marriage is different as newlyweds more blissful, less weight of the world because life is about both of you. Then when children come things change a little bit. The time for each other is not equal. The time is crucial that you find a long time together to reconnect as companions. Then the trials of children and life and mortgages and car payments and bills are there but there's also an evolution of how that works because of income. Again, it's ever-changing evolving. I love how Elder Oaks states that neither man or woman is perfect but working together and working towards a common goal of perfection is what it's all about. Something that I have found is I'm very very stingy about my companion time. We always have made time for date night even when the kids were little, sometimes it would be a date at home after the kids went to bed with a movie and maybe a pizza. It was the simple things but turning things off to focus on each other. As humans we change and evolve and are not the same person that we are when we get married. The idea needs to be made that the divorce is not an option but the two are working together for a common goal of perfection. Sometimes you're given 50/50 sometimes 60/40 and some times  20/80 but the ideas that you just keep working.

Victories, and struggles

Each of us as individuals encounter victories, and struggles...

Each of us as couples encounter the very same thing. It is hard to see the good in the moments of darkness.  When we see the light, it is hard to think of bad times. We desperately need to seek solace in the Lord at all times, in all places, so that we can stay on the forward moving path to  to find ways to keep our bond strong and build the marriage muscles to be stronger. 

sometimes... we are wrong in our thoughts and actions and our better half is there to bring us to reality so we have to give and keep giving. 

The mingiling of two lives into one harmonious state of marriage

{Sometimes is not so harmonious}

Bringing two different people, from two different backgrounds, with 2 different family lives, different morals and expectations, and 2 different ways of life, and bringing them together, to build a life together and mingling the 2 lives that have been so different.  Can be difficult.  Not always right and wrong ways of life, but just different. 

Remembering that you are in love at the most hostile of times in a relationship, can be the hardest thing.  At some point you were so madly in love, twitter-patted and couldn't think of anything else but your sweet partner. Love makes us oblivious and unfocused on other things but each other. 

Work to remember that you chose that person, and you loved them.  

The power of love, is one of the greatest forces that can not be broken.  Our Father in Heaven is the perfect example of true love. He loved us enough to give his son to us. to let his son feel all the pain ever known and new that sacrifices bring blessings. 

Love can conquer all. Love can break through any barrier and bring each other to know of the real love of our Savior. 

This week brough lots of times and things that made me laugh as I learned what my mother always talk about spring. Back in the day after the winter homes would be cleaned such as spring cleaning. I have this it is here in Arizona it's a little opposite. Spring cleaning happens before summer because it's so hot. It may sound funny that were cleaning even though were stuck in our homes for four months during the hot months. It helps me to know that things are in order and in this place. So you can imagine what my week was like as the warmer temperatures are creeping up. Everybody on board to do some "spring cleaning". It is interesting how certain days we had fun, and other days there was a struggle to get anybody to do anything. My daughter found this quote meme. It made me laugh marriage is a fairy tale just in reverse you start out of the beautiful ball down and up spending all day cleaning up after little people. You know it's pretty funny because even though you're doing that it's the most rewarding cleaning and time on this earthly life. Just like it's my week happened with ups and downs of cleaning and getting things in order in preparation for the summer,it was a whole lot of communication and love and understanding and frustration and emotions with my kids as we did this. The same as a marriage.

I think we all have moments in life during our marriage that it is hard to find the humor, but this week was not one of them. In the thick of cleaning our home, we found fun and laughter.

I loved this talk from Brad Wilcox, Humor Can Improve Our Perspective

We can’t always choose what we look at, but we can choose what we see. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “Jesus found special joy and happiness in children and said all of us should be more like them—guileless and pure, quick to laugh.” 2 We are all going to find ourselves in situations we have not anticipated and are not sure how to handle.

 If we laugh, we may find that at least some of the handling takes care of itself.

Laughter in marriage heals. and it is a time when you can just be mindless of the normal worries of the week. 

FAML 300.02 MARRIAGE

What to name a blog for marriage in my class...
Who knew asking my family about the name of a blog would bring such silliness.
my 16 year old... BOY... Death and Despair, Cheaper by the dozen,
my 12 year old ....Boy.   Best days of my Life.
My husband. The BEST 2 years.  HAHA We have been married for 18 years
15 year old daughter.... Life on the inside, Scared straight.
Well they were no help.  And then another from my husband, She is always right. ....

In all seriousness, other thoughts came up with,  from here to eternity, love and marriage,